Drowning in Me, Missing You
by XxEJMxX
Summary: "I'm falling again, I'm going to fail and mess up. Drowning in me, Missing you. I'm breaking through, I'm just giving up." Harry is through living how he should... He just needs Severus to catch him as he falls. !darkharry! M for gore, oneshot.


A/N: I have recently found a Deviant on Deviantart, whose poems I hold an appreciation for, this is pretty much the product of such,

oh and poem rights go to: Kori-Andre: http:/ kori-andre. deviantart. com/  
Remove spaces! :)

* * *

_They knock me down beat the breath from my chest  
And leave settling the score  
They crave attention but I don't know best  
They are just sickly and abhored  
_

Vernon's thick fists beat down upon his frame, splotching the once porcelain skin with purple and blue, his lips long split and bleeding. His messy mop of jet black hair finally now lays flat, saturated in his own pooling blood. The moonlight comes in through the barred windows as Vernon's grunts fill the room. Harry is not quite sure he can take much more of the disgusting Muggle's punches.

Soon Vernon leaves, kicking him once more in the teeth, settling whatever silent problem he had come to take out on Harry…

_Laying awake at the dawns first embrace  
Our dreams lie shattered by the sword  
Blood tastes like copper, familiar the taste  
When every night is another war  
_

Harry feels like he should apologize somehow, that he's tainting his love with his blood and freakishness. The sun's rays shatter the darkness in the room, showing a frail young man picking himself off the floor, wincing as his ribs creak and ache. The taste of the copper liquid in his mouth sets off memories of last night. At least he made it though another war, it was one every night… and he wished his love were not locked away, he wished he could see him without visiting the cold desolate prison. Harry hates how weak he is, not to defend himself from these Muggles…

_I'm falling again, I'm going to fail and mess up  
Drowning in me, Missing you  
I'm breaking through, I'm just giving up_

He feels like he is drowning in his sorrow and self loathing as his blood still drips on the floor, messing up what little progress he has made cleaning it up. He is counting down the days until he can go back to Hogwarts, and go back to Azkaban. His heart just feels so empty without his love…

_Learning through Trial and Error in life  
So many demons to appease  
Still with each breath like a thief in the night  
Living feels like a disease_

He breathes silently, the morning almost rising, today is the day he can leave. Today is the day when he feels some resemblance to happiness. Every breath still feels like a taint to the world. Every thought seems to be controlled to appease the filth he lives with, and the sickeningly light people who control his life….He just wants his little taste of dark…

_I'm falling again, I'm going to fail and mess up  
Drowning in me, Missing you  
I'm breaking through, I'm just giving up_

The train seems quieter than ever. Even though the teens around him talk, and the storm outside roils, and the engines roar. His mind is peaceful, filled with pictures of his love as the ginger slut hangs all over his every move. Touching his glamoured bruises, trying to press her lips against his, he almost growls and pushes her off. But he manages to scrap together his little bits of humanity.

_So many a mask that I wear on my face  
Each for a mood or a time or a place  
When will I just give up living this way  
When all I want is to be me!_

Harry smiles as he enters the great hall, not meeting the gazes of anyone in particular. Just keeping up enough front to meet his love again. He knows it will be soon. Harry has talked to him, drawing the plans from the man that will unite them once again, both of them, together. Harry is grateful for the sympathy of the Dark Lord, for he doesn't know how much long he can stand to wear a mask, before he gives up living the way that Dumbledore has squared and boxed away for him….

_I'm falling again, I'm going to fail and mess up  
Drowning in me, Missing you  
I'm breaking through, I'm just giving up_

The night falls right as the Death Eaters step into Hogwarts, one dragging Harry into a warm embrace, tugging on his robes as Dumbledore stares on in an unreadable emotion. Harry smiles what is sure to be a dark and twisted smile as his lover's pale potions stained hand trails through his messy mop of hair.

"I trusted you Severus"

"And you destroyed my little lover's soul Albus….it's a two way street"

Harry sees the flash of the Avada Kedavra as it heads towards Dumbledore, but he is far too concerned with the hand resting on his hips and the soft tones of his lover to care, he is "giving up" this lifestyle.

All he needs is Severus to catch him as he falls…

* * *

A/N: I know, I am going back to Turn Your Back To the Wind…


End file.
